When I woke up the next morning, I felt beyond AMAZING. I felt hugely expanded, and I a deep level of freedom I had never known. My fatigue, aches and pains were gone and I was SO full of love. My heart felt SO HUGE that from the middle of the room I was sure I would hit the wall if I moved an inch.

The first thing I wanted to do was plant a garden. I made my way to the nursery, beaming and walking on air. The woman in charge, who was normally a grump, followed me around the yard giving me things for free. Then two cashiers stopped what they were doing and turned very slowly to ask if I’d found everything I needed. They were beaming at me. It was as if everyone in the place was in a love trance!

Once home I saw a neighbor I’d barely talked to in years. I HAD to know how she was doing. I was intensely curious about her life and her art; nothing seemed more important in that moment. I bounded up her stairs and spent a lovely afternoon getting to know all about her. It was an amazing feeling to feel so open and curious, to care so much and connect that way with her.

I’ve realized that our emotions are like weather patterns. They are meant to move, not be stuffed down. When we don’t express them they block our vitality and it becomes harder and harder to move and breathe. We go “dormant,” physically, emotionally and spiritually, until we find a way to get unstuck and back to flow.

Culturally there is not a lot of approval for strong emotions, especially difficult ones. We put stock in learning how to think, but we don’t place much importance on feeling.

Feeling our feelings, expressing them fully and sharing them with others opens up our bodies and our lives. Sharing our joys, fears and vulnerabilities is how we open our hearts, connect with others, tap our creativity, and even heal physically.

Today when you feel intensity arise in your body, put some attention on it. Where is it? Can you feel specific sensations in your body and name them to yourself? Are they changing as you notice them? Current neuroscience shows that it takes 60-90 seconds of focused attention to allow the “weather” of our feelings to shift and begin to release.

The ego will resist this process. It resists strong feelings to “protect” us, which makes sense. If we felt our feelings, we might panic and be eaten by the lion. The problem comes when we don’t “re-set” the survival response.

To relax the ego, express gratitude for its intent. We all have voices of judgment in our heads. “I should be better at this,” “What’s wrong with me that I can’t connect with my feelings.” Find compassion and forgiveness for all of it as if you’re talking with a younger part of yourself that just didn’t understand. When your feelings and body sensations feel like too much to manage on your own, consider asking someone you trust to bear witness, or anchor you with a nice big bearhug.

There are two short videos below that provide wonderful guidance to assist you with this process. I’d love to hear how it goes!

”All emotions are neutral. They have no meaning other than the meanings we assign to them.”
– Dr. Kim D’Eramo